


Icarus Ascending

by bluemoonmaverick



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:23:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonmaverick/pseuds/bluemoonmaverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sam and Jack didn't keep it in the room after all?  A/U tag to Divide and Conquer.<br/><br/>**Sam & Jack Multimedia Awards Nominee - Alternate and Angst (2015)**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reposting this story from another site, where I left it unfinished for far too long. I have finally written the final chapter, which I will post in both locations at the same time. Thanks to all who are still reading! :)

Janet had required Sam to stay in the infirmary overnight for observation so that the drugs she'd been given earlier had a chance to clear her system. But the tiny doctor had ultimately confessed that she was as concerned about Sam's mental health as much as her physical. After all, it had been one of her tougher days - from thinking she was a programmed assassin to publicly declaring her feelings for her commanding officer to being forced to kill her friend and ally - Janet told her she was surprised she hadn't broken down completely.

For her part, Sam was surprised that her CO hadn't come to check on her, but she assumed he was probably trying to put some distance between them considering their earlier confessions. Still, she couldn't deny that she was disappointed. She'd told him that she thought everything could stay in the room, but she was seriously starting to doubt the wisdom of that decision. She needed him, now more than ever.

So, when Janet finally released her the following morning and she stopped by her lab to gather some things before taking off for a week of leave (thanks to Hammond), she felt a tinge of hope when she saw a piece of paper resting on her keyboard. On it, there were only two numbers, but she knew immediately whose handwriting it was, and she was fairly sure she knew what the numbers represented. An invitation.

She waited until she got home, then plugged the numbers into a GPS mapping program. Sure enough, the program pinpointed a spot in middle-of-nowhere, Minnesota. When she zoomed in she could see that the location was adjacent to a small body of water.

She checked on flights to Minneapolis, letting a smile cross her face before she rushed to her bedroom to throw a few things into a bag. If she left now, she could be there by early evening. As she packed, her mind drifted back to the first time Jack had asked her to accompany him to his cabin.

In retrospect, she was convinced the invitation was a mistake. The deer-in-the-headlights expression he'd had when she attempted to confirm that he wanted her to join him, coupled with his obvious relief after she declined, should have given him away then. At the time, though, she was too shocked and too thrilled to recognize the situation for what it was.

Yet she never forgot the look of heady desire overlaid with earnest anticipation she saw briefly cross his features after she'd followed him into the hallway, half convinced that she should change her mind. And she was quite certain he was trying to do just that before Thor unexpectedly beamed him away.

Since then, they had often played a flirtatious yet cautious game, a parody of sorts of the original chain of events. He'd tease her with feigned invitations to join him for a little fishing, sometimes pursuing her for days, all the while completely safe in the knowledge that duty and honor would consistently drive her to decline.

Except now the invitation was real. Now she had accepted.

She was already in the rental car on the road to the cabin before the magnitude of what she was doing hit her. The further she drove, the more she began to second guess her decision to come, and her thoughts returned to the moment she was forced to admit to a room full of people something she hadn't even really admitted herself.

_The Tok'ra's expression remained cool, and Sam focused on her, refusing to look at the man who had just been in her position and was now staring at her intently as she sat strapped to the chair, the laser from the za'tarc detector trained on her right eye._

_Anise continued her questioning. "You realized you were trapped."_

_"Yes," Sam replied._

_"What happened next?"_

_"Colonel O'Neill returned and began trying to break down the force field, but nothing he did had any effect." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She'd been certain she was going to die. "I knew the timer on the C-4 was about to go off. I begged him to go."_

_"But he refused to leave you."_

_"Yes."_

_"And how did that make you feel?"_

_Even though she knew it was coming, the question caught her off guard. She hesitated slightly. "Frustrated, angry, sad..."_

_"Carter," Jack said, drawing out her name in warning, his eyes glued to the increasingly reddening display._

_She thought back to the way he'd looked at her across the shimmering force field. If she were being honest, it wasn't so much his verbal refusal that convinced her that he wasn't going to leave; it was the expression on his face. Because even though he hadn't said a word, it was crystal clear to her then that he loved her - and that realization had led to whole series of emotions that were completely incongruent with the rest._

_Sam looked up at Jack, and he met her gaze, his features softening with her next words. "A part of me was relieved and...and happy," she finally said quietly staring down at her hands._

_Anise furrowed her brow. She clearly hadn't anticipated that response. "Happy? Why?"_

_Sam paused before slowly bringing her gaze up to meet Jack's once again. "Because I knew then that the Colonel felt the same way for me as I do for him."_

_The Tok'ra glanced at the screen and was apparently satisfied with what she saw. She inclined her head ever so slightly in Sam's direction. "You are also not a za'tarc."_

_"Thank you."_

Of course, she and the Colonel had agreed almost immediately that they would keep their confessions locked in that room.

And yet here she was, driving to meet him alone at his cabin, their military careers and the future of their team be damned. Her stomach clenched suddenly. What were they thinking? She shouldn't have come.

But it was too late to turn back now. She'd already turned off the main road onto a glorified dirt trail that was proving to be somewhat of a challenge for her two wheel drive sedan. The sun had set a half hour ago, and it was dark in the trees. The lights on her car came on automatically.

Just up ahead, she could see a small log house, a warm glow emanating from the windows. As she pulled up, the front door opened, and her commanding officer stepped out and leaned against the doorframe, wiping his hands on a dishtowel and looking like heaven in jeans and a flannel shirt.

He smiled at her. "Hungry?" he asked, as she got out of the car.

"Starving," she replied, and suddenly all of her fears melted away.

He took her bag, and she followed him into the cabin. The aroma of something cooking on the stovetop almost overwhelmed her. She didn't know what it was, but it smelled delicious. He brought two bowls of what she could now see was homemade chicken soup to a table already set for two. She looked up at him, surprised.

"How did you know I was coming?"

"I didn't." He gave her a half grin. "But I was hoping."

He gestured toward the table, and she sat down to a wonderful meal. "Thank you, sir."

He snapped his head up to look at her. "I have just one rule at the cabin, Sam. No rank. Okay?"

She smiled and ducked her head. "Okay, Jack," she said softly, trying out the name and finding that it sounded strange and slightly illicit coming from her lips.

They talked over dinner but carefully avoided discussing work, and especially anything dealing with za'tarcs or the Tok'ra. Instead, she told him about moving around the country with her father and he regaled her with stories about summers at the cabin when he was a boy. By the time they were done eating, he had her laughing uncontrollably.

She quieted after a minute, and he looked up at her, his eyes sparkling. "C'mere. I wanna show you something."

He extended his hand to help her up, and she took it. He didn't let go as he led her out onto the porch, then around back, toward the pond. Standing on a small dock that extended over the water, he glanced skyward and looked at her expectantly. It only took a second before she saw it.

"Oh! Is that...?"

"Uh huh," he replied. "It's unusual to see it this far south, but sometimes we get lucky."

She gazed at the night sky, in complete wonder. She knew all about how the aurora borealis was formed - highly charged electrons from the solar wind interacting with elements in the Earth's atmosphere along its magnetic fields - but nothing had prepared her for the magic of seeing it in person. As she watched the heavens dance with the blue-green lights, Jack put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She leaned into him and placed her head on his shoulder.

"We're in trouble, aren't we?" she whispered after awhile.

"Yeah, I think so," he replied quietly.

This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't the kind of woman who fell for her CO and he wasn't the sort of man who fell for his subordinate. They certainly hadn't planned it. In fact, they'd spent the better part of the last three years trying their best to resist it. But in the end, neither one of them could control their hearts. Before, they'd thought it would be dangerous to acknowledge their feelings for each other, but now, after the za'tarc fiasco, they could see that it was equally dangerous not to.

She turned in his arms, and he brought a hand to her face, letting his fingers trail along her jawline. His eyes traveled down to her lips and back up again, and then he was kissing her and she was kissing him back, and though it had started gently, it rapidly progressed to something far more heated, as the bonds of long repressed desire were suddenly loosened.

They made their way into the cabin and across the open living space, kissing and touching and shedding clothing along the way. By the time they'd reached the bedroom, they were nearly naked and completely aroused.

Jack ran his hands over Sam's bare shoulders and down her back, as her hands came to rest on his hips. He stilled his movements and put a sliver of distance between them. It had occurred to him that they were about to cross a point of no return.

He leaned his forehead against hers and tried his best to slow his breathing. "I'm all in here, Carter," he whispered, "but if you have any reservations about this, I need you to tell me now."

She shook her head. "No. No reservations. None..."

He sighed her name softly, pausing for just a moment longer before giving in to his desire for her completely.

With a few well-orchestrated movements, he divested them of what remained of their clothing. After that, they spent several minutes exploring with lips and tongues, hands and fingers.

The way he touched her was completely unexpected - soft, almost reverent. What little higher reasoning skills she had left were devoted to pondering the inherent contradictions of this man she thought she knew so well.

The same sharp tongue that had routinely lashed both friend and foe was now delicately licking her ear. The same lips that had spoken such harsh criticism of their detractors were now gently sucking the skin of her neck and breasts. And the same hands that had snapped necks and fired more rounds of ordnance than she could count were now cautiously probing the damp area between her thighs.

In every single one of her fantasies, he had taken her quick and hard. Not that she'd have complained if that had been how it had happened. There was, after all, something to be said for that method, too. But she'd had no idea that a man with such sharp edges was capable of this kind of slow and purposeful love making.

The thought made her dizzy with desire for him.

Several long minutes later, as she lay completely naked on top of his bed, his hard body pressed to hers and his long fingers trailing fire through her slick folds, she realized that she was dangerously close to losing all control.

"Jack, please," she panted, and he immediately stilled, giving her a moment to get her erratic breathing under control.

Knowing inherently what she wanted, he carefully positioned himself on top of her, nestling his hips in the cradle of her thighs and pressing against her ever so slightly, giving her one last chance to stop him before they crossed that final boundary.

Sam's heart beat wildly as overwhelming desire was tinged with the slightest hint of trepidation. Even now, she couldn't keep her mind from sorting through the various ramifications of what they were about to do, about what it could mean for them, their team, the program. But this night was about the two of them and only them, and Jack wasn't about to let a misplaced sense of guilt ruin it for her.

"Don't think," he whispered directly in her ear.

Like everything else he had done for her that night, it was exactly what she needed.

She gave one passing thought to all that happened before and what inevitably was to come, then let go, her eyes closing and her head falling backwards in ecstasy as he pushed himself deep inside her and began to move his hips in a slow and sensual rhythm.

Oh god, he was going to make this last.

Sam was the first to admit she didn't have a wealth of sexual experience. Not counting a couple of ill-advised one night stands, she'd really only had three lovers, and none of them had been particularly awe inspiring. Oh, they'd been serviceable for the most part, but they'd always moved with a single minded purpose: to get her from point A to point B by the fastest means possible.

But this! This was something completely different.

Within seconds, she was in sensory overload. Over and over, he took her right to the edge only to suddenly back off. Then he'd start all over again, taking his sweet time and hitting all of her most sensitive spots, causing ripples of pleasure to permeate her body and push her ever closer to her breaking point.

After a while, she began to lose all track of time. She only truly appreciated how long they'd been at it when she realized that the sheets were soaking, but whether from sweat or tears or other fluids, she had no idea. By then, she was shaking with the need for release. Desperately, she cried out his name.

He was either nearing his end as well or had simply decided to take pity on her, because when he struck up his rhythm this time, his movements were faster, harder. This time, he didn't let up, allowing the crescendo to build until she was quite sure she couldn't take one second more. With a cry of ecstasy, she suddenly lost herself in wave of pure pleasure that left her blissfully mindless as it rippled through her like an unending tide.

Somewhere, in that part of her consciousness that was always calibrated to him, she knew she had taken him with her.

Several minutes later - though it might have been hours, she couldn't be sure - she became of aware of her surroundings: his comforting weight resting on top of her, his uneven breath tickling her ear, his rapid heartbeat keeping time with hers as it slowed. She stirred, and he lifted himself onto his elbows. He stared down at her, and the love and satisfaction she saw in his eyes made her breath hitch.

He brushed a damp tendril of hair from her forehead. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she whispered back. He began to move off of her but she grabbed his arms in an attempt to hold him in place. "Don't," she said.

He eased back down and looked at her, concerned now. "You okay?"

She smiled. "Yeah. I just...I want to stay like this for a while longer."

He returned her smile. "Okay." He leaned down and and gave her a gentle, lingering kiss, first on her lips, then her eyelids, and finally along the graceful column of her neck. She hummed appreciatively, but almost instantly the consequences of what they had just done began to sink in.

"I guess things just got complicated," she breathed.

He nuzzled her ear. "Was there a time when they weren't?"

"Jack..."

He rolled over and pulled her to him. "Sam," he began, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "I have been in love with you for almost four years now. I should have stepped down as your CO the second I knew, but...it seemed like things were working just fine." She felt him shrug. "From my perspective, nothing has really changed. But if you feel differently..."

She raised her head quickly to look him in the eye, cutting him off. "I don't. You're right." She snuggled back into his embrace, laying her head on his chest. "I guess we've been breaking the spirit of the rules for a long time now..."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I think so. But if this makes you at all uncomfortable, we can stop it right here."

Her chest tightened. Now that she had him, she couldn't imagine letting him go. "I don't want to stop."

"Okay, then. We'll just take it slow."

She snorted. "A little late for that."

He pulled back to look at her again, a half grin plastered on his face. "Oh, I don't know. After that roll in the hay, I'm pretty much ready to move straight to the minivan and a house in the 'burbs, but if you want to wait..." She laughed out loud at the image that conjured. He gave her shoulders a squeeze and settled back into the pillows. "We can do this. We'll just have to be careful."

"You sure?" she asked, still uncertain.

"I'm sure," he replied without any uncertainty at all.

She smiled into his chest, truly happy for the first time in years.

TBC...


	2. Teal'c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place immediately after the events of Scorched Earth

Teal'c settled down in front of what had served as their fire pit over the past few evenings and looked skyward. There would be no fire tonight. Throughout the day, dark clouds had gathered ominously over the mountains and moved down toward the plain where the Enkaran village was situated. The air was heavy and smelled of ozone and damp earth. Overhead, Teal'c heard the first rumble of thunder. It wouldn't be long before the storm reached them.

From the direction of the village, he watched a man approach the campsite, his height and gate giving him away even at a distance. Yet something about the way he moved indicated an uncharacteristic weariness. Teal'c wasn't really surprised. He leaned back against a fallen tree and considered all that had happened since the alien ship had arrived and begun altering the face of the planet, inadvertently threatening to wipe out the entire Enkaran civilization.

O'Neill's desperate attempt to destroy the ship, even after Daniel Jackson had transported aboard, had nearly torn the team apart. Their leader had been furious - furious first at the aliens, bent on wiping out the civilization he helped establish, then at Daniel Jackson, who had seemingly sided with the strange race and, by beaming aboard their ship at a crucial moment, had left O'Neill with a difficult choice. Teal'c suspected O'Neill was also somewhat displeased with Major Carter who, though she dutifully followed his every order, openly struggled with his decision to annihilate the aliens, as well as their teammate.

From Teal'c's perspective, they had each simply played the roles to which they had become accustomed - the strategist, the diplomat, the genius - and played them expertly. And as usual, in the end, a satisfactory solution had been reached and disaster avoided on all fronts: the aliens had easily destroyed the weapon before it could cause any damage to their ship, and they had agreed to transport the Enkarans to their home world, after which time they planned to resume this planet's transformation.

But while the Enkarans joyfully prepared to return to the world of their ancestors, the mood of Teal'c's team remained tense, their usual camaraderie fractured. He knew that it was now time for him to play his role. It was time to him to bring them back together.

They had been joined by SG-3 and SG-6 earlier that afternoon to help coordinate the evacuation of each of the Enkaran settlements, a task they hoped to complete the following day. But the hour had grown late, so Hedrazar had called a halt to the preparations and ordered everyone to rest, including SG-1.

At Daniel Jackson's request, Teal'c had taken first watch. The archeologist was already snoring in one tent, while Major Carter had retired to the other a half hour earlier. O'Neill had stayed behind to speak with Hedrazar, and Teal'c wondered as he watched him draw closer if he had done so to avoid interacting with his team.

Finally arriving at their campsite, O'Neill sat down and stretched his long legs out in front of him. Teal'c watched as he laced his hands behind his head and leaned back against the fallen tree next to the Jaffa. He let out a long sigh.

"Do you not require rest, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, glancing sideways at the military man.

O'Neill looked between the two tents where Daniel Jackson and Major Carter slept and gave a small grunt. "I'm beat. But I'm not sure either one would have me at the moment."

Teal'c considered that response and smiled inwardly. It had been obvious to him almost immediately that O'Neill and Major Carter had become far more intimate following the za'tarc incident. Perhaps it was time to let him know that he was aware of the change in their relationship.

"I was under the impression that Major Carter already has," Teal'c replied evenly without missing a beat.

O'Neill did a double take of his friend and let out a bark of laughter, though he sobered again quickly. He picked up a stick and began poking at the prior night's ashes. "She's less than thrilled with me at the moment, Teal'c," he said in a low voice, his eyes trained on the fire pit.

"I am not certain that is the case. In my experience I have found it advisable not to make assumptions regarding a woman's state of mind."

He snorted. "Truer words were never spoken, my friend."

"Perhaps it would be better to ascertain her thoughts on the day's events directly from the orifice of the equine."

O'Neill let out another short laugh, though Teal'c suspected he knew the Jaffa had taken to butchering human colloquialisms on purpose. But he was willing to play along. "Horse's mouth, Teal'c," he corrected, the corners of his mouth still upturned.

"Is that not what I said?"

O'Neill stood suddenly and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Thanks, T." He turned toward Major Carter's tent just as the first few drops of the threatening storm began to fall.

Teal'c pulled the hood of his military issue rain slicker over his head and watched his friend disappear behind the flap of the tent. His thoughts immediately returned to the day he had borne witness to his teammates' reluctant confessions.

_He'd lost track of O'Neill in the chaos that erupted following the death of the Tok'ra. Like the others, Teal'c had followed the medics to the infirmary, where Martouf was officially pronounced dead. As he watched Daniel Jackson comfort Major Carter, he realized for the first time that their leader was not with them. When Dr. Fraiser insisted on keeping Major Carter in the infirmary overnight, Teal'c decided he'd better inform O'Neill._

_Taking leave of his teammates, he began scouring the SGC in search of his friend, only to find him several minutes later sitting in the dark in Major Carter's lab. He would've walked right by him if not for a strange noise coming from the room._

_"O'Neill," he said simply, spotting him as he walked into the open doorway._

_The military man was sitting on a stool, slowly spinning back and forth, causing it to squeak. He gave the Jaffa a weak grin. "Hey, T."_

_Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back. "Major Carter has been admitted to the infirmary," he said without preamble._

_He stood suddenly, nearly causing the stool to tip over. "Is she okay?"_

_"She appears to be in good health. I believe that Dr. Fraiser simply wishes to keep her for observation. She has experienced a great deal of stress today."_

_O'Neill eased himself back down onto the stool. "Yeah. She has," he agreed, looking downward guiltily._

_Teal'c observed him for a moment, then walked into the lab and closed the door behind him, plunging them into near darkness, the dim light of the computer consoles providing the only illumination._

_"Do you not wish to see her, O'Neill?" he asked, his voice low._

_"I'm not sure that's such a good idea right now, Teal'c. I think maybe we should give each other some space, ya know?"_

_"Indeed I do not."_

_He hadn't been surprised by their earlier confessions. After all, he had observed the progression of their relationship for many years. When he had first met O'Neill and Major Carter, he'd immediately sensed the tension between them. Beneath the textbook respect they paid each other was an undercurrent of frustration he had initially mistaken for disdain. He quickly realized, though, that it was the intense attraction they felt for one another that was actually causing the strain._

_He'd been waiting for them to break for years, and now it seemed they finally had._

_Teal'c lifted his chin, daring O'Neill to deny his next statement. "You care for her a great deal, as she does for you."_

_"Aha!" O'Neill exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He pointed at the Jaffa. "See? That's just it. We're not supposed to feel that way about each other."_

_He'd never understood the Tau'ri and their rules against personal relationships in the military. In his experience, a warrior was made stronger by the love of a good woman, especially when she was fighting by his side. In any event, the idea that the strength of one's affections could be tempered by law was absurd to him._

_"I was unaware the heart could be governed by regulation," Teal'c replied evenly._

_O'Neill considered that for a moment. "Yeah, well, even if that's true, we were never, ever supposed to admit it. If it weren't for the goddamn Tok'ra..." He trailed off, clearly struggling to reign in his anger. He took a deep breath and fixed the Jaffa a steely glare, willing him to understand. "An inappropriate relationship between an officer and her CO...that kind of thing will kill her career, Teal'c."_

_"Perhaps," Teal'c replied instantly. "But denying your feelings for her will kill her soul." He turned to leave but stopped abruptly and looked over his shoulder at O'Neill. "And yours."_

_With that, he opened the door and walked out, hoping his friends would find peace - hoping they would find each other._

oOoOoOo

Jack entered the tent just as the heavens opened up. He gave a passing thought to Teal'c, who would likely have to tolerate the rain for the duration of his watch, then mentally shrugged. Based on the threatening skies he'd seen earlier, they would probably all have to take a turn in the downpour. He sat down on his bedroll and let out a long sigh as he unlaced his boots.

Sam was turned on her side, facing away from him and desperately pretending to sleep. She had no idea what to say to him. She had come as close to defying his direct order today as she ever had before, and he knew it. Ultimately, she had acquiesced to his demands, but she had no doubt he knew it was under protest.

She listened to his movements with her eyes closed as he lay down beside her. He let out another long sigh and then quieted. Just when she'd decided that he must be asleep, he suddenly rolled onto his side and in one move grasped her around the waist and pulled her to him. She gasped, and he shushed her but didn't let go.

Bits and pieces of his conversation with Teal'c had filtered into the tent, so when his arm tightened around her, she knew he was seeking some sort of reassurance that despite all that had happened, they were okay. But she wasn't angry at him. On the contrary, as she'd thought back over the events of the day, their disagreement had become the least of her concerns.

"I'm not mad," she said, her voice just above a whisper.

"No?" he asked, his voice equally low.

"You were faced with a difficult choice. You made the best decision you could under the circumstances."

"But it's not the one you would have made."

"What I would've done doesn't matter. It all worked out in the end anyway."

"So what's bothering you?"

She paused, giving long thought to her reply. It shouldn't have surprised her that he had so easily picked up on the fact that it wasn't their disagreement that was really troubling her. She'd all but decided she wouldn't bother him with her concerns, but somehow he already seemed to know there was more to her mood.

"What if...what if it had been me instead of Daniel-"

"Don't," he snapped with all the force of an order. "Don't even say that, Carter. It didn't happen that way, so like you said, it doesn't matter."

But she had just voiced his worst fear. He suspected that if she had been the one on that ship, he never would've given the order to blow it up, and that was something he didn't want to think about at the moment. Maybe ever.

He pulled her more tightly to him, as though he could protect her from all of the dangers of their job just by holding her in the circle of his arms. She surprised him by placing her hands over his and pressing herself more intimately into the cradle of his body. The provocative contact had its desired effect, and he began to harden against her. She sighed softly in response and pressed against him more firmly still.

"God, Sam," he breathed into her ear, then captured her earlobe with his teeth as he ran his hand under the hem of her shirt, making his way to her breasts. It had been awhile since they'd been together, and this was too much temptation for him to resist. He wanted her - heck, he needed her tonight, so if she was willing...

He cupped her breast, teasing her nipple with his thumb and trailing wet kisses from the spot behind her ear down the length of her neck. The storm made just enough noise to mask her appreciative groan, but even so he brought his mouth up to her ear once again, this time to caution her.

"Quiet, Major."

His words, especially the use of her rank, reminded her of the illicit nature of their actions and caused her desire for him to pool deep and low. God, she knew that they shouldn't be doing this - not here, not now - but she had no intention of stopping. He needed to forget about today and maybe so did she, so when he moved his hand to her waist and began undoing the buttons of her BDUs, she didn't protest. Instead, she let him push her pants and panties all the way down to her ankles, where she kicked them the rest of the way off.

He quickly divested himself of his BDUs as well, and then they were skin on skin, his hard length pressed firmly against her backside. For the next several minutes, she was lost in sensation as, still holding her from behind, his long fingers stroked her to readiness.

The rain pounded the fabric of the tent as Jack shifted slightly to finally bring them together. Though his body was screaming at him to move, he hesitated ever so briefly to consider the wisdom of what they were doing.

He was obviously not afraid of bending the rules, but they had been careful so far, really only spending a handful of nights together since the za'tarc incident, and then only after they'd returned from missions where things had gotten bad or there'd been some sort of close call. They had always kept things strictly professional during the missions themselves. This would be the first time they'd been together while on duty. The thought gave him pause.

Sensing his hesitation, she pressed her rear firmly against him, reassuring him that she wanted this as much as did. And with that, any remaining doubt he had fled. He moaned her name into her ear as he pushed into her from behind, drawing a gasp from her as she adjusted to accommodate him.

The awkward position prevented him from entering her fully, but the unusual angle put him in direct contact with her most sensitive spot. Every time he moved against her she saw stars, and each time she let out a little gasp, increasingly thankful for the cover of the storm outside. Within just a few minutes, she found herself near completion, wanting desperately to finish but finding herself unable to do so. As the rain came down, he continued moving against her, just hard enough to keep her right on the edge but not enough to send her over it.

It was driving her mad.

"Jack," she finally pled, drawing out his name in a voice rough with need. In response, he rolled her over onto her stomach and lifted her hips up to meet his, pushing all the way into her with a groan.

The added pressure was exactly what she needed, and she wondered not for the first time how Jack O'Neill had become such an accomplished lover. But the thought didn't linger because in the next few seconds, she was rendered utterly mindless.

She let out a ragged breath as her body trembled around him. He felt her come, and that was all it took for him to follow, as he thrust himself deep inside her, claiming her completely.

He collapsed onto his bedroll beside her, and she rolled into his embrace, tucking her head beneath his chin. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"It doesn't matter," he repeated, drawing on their conversation from earlier.

And as the rain came down and he held her tightly to him, he prayed it never would.

TBC...


	3. Daniel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after the events of Tangent.

Daniel knocked softly, a box of donuts in hand. Receiving no response, he reached down to open the door, only to find it locked. That was odd, he thought. Jack never locked his door. For some reason, though, that fact didn't prevent him from fishing out his key and letting himself into the house.

Once inside he called out, but not too loudly, just in case Jack was still asleep, though it was 0800 and he was fairly certain that even on weekends Jack never slept that late. But things had been rough this mission, rougher than usual, so when he didn't answer, Daniel supposed that he was probably just exhausted.

That was why he was at Jack's house so early in the morning anyway. He needed to be sure that after all that had happened, their irascible leader was really okay. It had been close this time. Though Daniel was fairly certain that Teal'c had made peace with his demons, he wasn't as sure about Jack, and twelve hours awaiting certain death, adrift in the void of space, provided ample opportunity to dwell on one's regrets.

It was quiet inside, and after a quick look around, Daniel could see that Jack wasn't in the den or the kitchen. In fact, the house seemed unusually still. He considered for a moment that maybe he wasn't at home at all, but he dismissed the thought almost immediately when he remembered that he'd seen Jack's truck in the driveway.

And then he heard it - the rustling of sheets, the creak of the bed, and a low moan. Daniel's first and only thought as he hurriedly rounded the corner toward the bedroom was that Jack must have been having another one of his nightmares. That was until he heard a second voice, this one much more feminine, making a sound that indicated anything but distress.

His cheeks flaming, Daniel came to an abrupt stop. He hurriedly did an about face and made his way back down the hallway. As he passed the kitchen, his eye caught the back door, and he made a snap decision to exit that way, not wanting to stay in the house one minute longer.

Easing the door closed behind him, he wondered when Jack had found time to date and who the mystery woman could be. Jeez, he thought, Sam was not going to like this.

But when he turned around, he was stunned to see a familiar motorcycle parked in front of Jack's truck, carefully hidden from view from the front of the house. Sam's Indian.

It took a full minute before he fully processed what was happening. After all, he'd never, ever seen the two military members of his team behave as anything but supervisor and subordinate. In fact, in all the time he'd served on SG-1, he was fairly certain that he'd never observed more than occasional, inadvertent physical contact between them. Clearly, though, they were on far more intimate terms than he'd ever suspected.

He walked quickly back to his car, his face flushing once again. God, he'd almost walked in on them! But as he dumped the donuts in the garbage can at the curb, it occurred to him that he was feeling something more than mere embarrassment. After all, Sam was like a sister to him and Jack was his best friend, and he'd had no clue they were together.

He suddenly never felt more alone in his life.

oOoOoOo

When they'd found Jack unconscious in the glider, Sam had thought for sure he was gone. Her relief at getting him back alive had been overwhelming. So when he'd called to tell her he'd finally been released from the infirmary, she'd immediately gone to his house without giving the matter a second thought.

She'd arrived only to find him dead asleep on top of his bed and nearly as unresponsive as he'd been when they'd found him floating in space. Clearly, his impromptu tour of the solar system had taken its toll. She'd quickly stripped and crawled into bed beside him, not caring in the least that he barely moved as she laid her head on his chest.

That morning, though, was a completely different story. She woke to find him wrapped around her, one hand on her breast and the evidence of his apparent desire prodding her firmly in the backside. When she turned in his arms, she found that he had somehow already rid himself of his clothes.

"Hey," he grinned down at her.

"Hey," she replied with a smile.

He leaned down to kiss her, but she had other plans. Over his startled protest, she playfully pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his legs and pinning his arms with her hands.

"I'm really, really glad you're alive," she said huskily.

He cocked a grin at her. "Me too. Especially now."

Slowly, torturously, she began moving her body down his, kissing his face and neck, then his chest and abdomen, determined to show him just how happy she was to have him back. His groan of protest when she lifted her body away from his was instantly replaced by a groan of satisfaction as she licked him teasingly then, without warning, took him completely into her mouth.

Though his hand instantly tangled in her hair, his touch was gentle, and she couldn't help but feel a completely feminine sense of power as she watched his eyes close and his head fall backward against the pillow.

Sam knew she was nothing if not thorough, so she tried to suppress a smirk of triumph when, after just a few minutes, Jack groaned again and announced that he was never going to last like that. At his urging, she moved back up his body, settling herself intimately against him and gasping as the erotic contact sent tendrils of desire shooting through her body.

Slowly, she moved against him, teasing them both until her desire threatened to overwhelm her. Unable to deny herself any longer, she finally shifted to bring him inside of her, drawing an appreciative moan from him as she enveloped him completely.

What few functioning brains cell Jack had left were dedicated to watching his Second, his Sam, move on top of him. Her hair was mussed and her eyes closed, and her breasts bounced as she rocked against him sensuously with an unmistakeable rhythm. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Jack placed one hand on Sam's hip and the other in the center of her back, guiding her movements. Wanting to be even closer to her, he raised himself into a sitting position, so he could kiss her behind her ear and trail his tongue down the long column of her neck toward her breasts.

With that, her breathing became ragged and she began making what was possibly the most erotic sound Jack had ever heard. Moving faster now, she threw her head back, eyes closed, as assaulted one taut nipple with his lips and teeth. Suddenly she stopped, and it was clear from her unexpected cry and the expression on her face that she was coming, hard.

Jack rolled them over, immediately seeking his own release. He had just collapsed on top of her when he heard what he thought was the back door closing.

"Did you hear something?" Sam asked breathlessly.

Once he had regained the ability to speak, Jack raised himself up on one elbow and looked down at her face to find her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen. "Probably just the wind," he replied, though he was now certain he had heard the door and knew there was only one person it could be.

oOoOoOo

Daniel set his tray down at the table across from Teal'c and hurriedly glanced around to make sure they were out of earshot of everyone else in the commissary.

"So I, uh...I walked in on Jack and Sam yesterday morning," he said quietly.

Teal'c paused in bringing a forkful of scrambled eggs to his mouth and looked across the table at the archeologist. "Walked in on them doing what, Daniel Jackson?"

The younger man shifted uncomfortably, refusing to meet his gaze. Teal'c immediately set his fork down and gave him the eyebrow.

"Yeah," he said, then leaned in closer, and spoke in a conspiratorial tone. "Did you know they were...involved?"

"I did."

Daniel sat back, surprised at the Jaffa's response. "You did? How?"

"How did you not?"

He considered the question for a moment. Daniel could only assume from Teal'c's response that Jack and Sam had been together for some time now. But while they were always professional on duty, surely there was only so much they could hide from their closest friends. From him. That was when it occurred to him that maybe he hadn't noticed anything between them before because he hadn't wanted to notice it.

"Does it bother you?" he asked earnestly.

"It does not," Teal'c replied immediately. Seeing the archeologist's expression, he continued, his usually stoic demeanor softening a bit. "Yet it bothers you. Do you not wish them to be happy, Daniel Jackson?"

"I do," Daniel replied equally quickly. But he shook his head then, not sure how to explain what he was feeling. "It's just that...I don't...I don't know."

It wasn't as though he'd been oblivious to the feelings between Jack and Sam, and it wasn't that he didn't want them to be happy. It wasn't even that he was jealous of their romantic relationship. No, what bothered him was that all this time he'd thought they were a team, only to find out now that he'd been excluded, just like he'd always been - the orphan, the outcast, the academic pariah.

He'd thought all that had changed with his involvement on SG-1, that he'd finally become part of something special. But no, it was really just the two of them who had something special; something they'd kept hidden from him; something that by definition didn't include him.

They didn't need him anymore. Perhaps they never did.

oOoOoOo

The mission briefing and subsequent trek from the Stargate to the abandoned temple had been strained, at best. He and Jack had barely said two words, and Sam had simply looked back and forth between them, clearly uncomfortable with the tension but unsure what to do about it. The lack of communication was bad enough that Daniel suspected if the planet had been inhabited, Jack would have called off the mission.

As a result, he wasn't really surprised when, after he'd been working alone for several hours carefully uncovering the glyphs on the inside of the temple, he felt a familiar presence looming in the doorway. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"I should have known when I found your front door locked," Daniel said, his nose still pressed to the text on the wall he'd been translating.

Jack snorted. "For all the good it did us," Jack replied, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms.

Daniel ignored the quip and instead spun around to look the military man in the eye. "How long?" he asked simply, though his tone held an accusatory note.

Jack kept his demeanor nonchalant, refusing to take the bait. "Awhile. You remember the za'tarc thing?" He drew himself up taller when Daniel failed to reply and took a deep breath. "Look, it's not like it happens a lot."

"And you think that makes it better?" Daniel snapped with more heat than he really intended. "That it's okay because you're just occasional fuck buddies?"

Daniel could almost see Jack's hackles rise. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

Daniel knew instantly he'd crossed a line, but he was on a roll and wasn't ready to quit just yet. "It's not fair to her, Jack."

"I assure you, she's the one calling the shots."

"Is she? You are her commanding officer, after all."

They stared at each other for a long time, Jack fuming but Daniel refusing to back down, though he still couldn't quite put his finger on why he felt so betrayed. He knew he wasn't really upset about their breach of Air Force decorum. He hardly gave a second thought to military regulations on his best days.

Still, it must have affected Jack on some level because when he finally spoke, his voice was icy, measured and controlled. It was a voice Daniel found far more disturbing than any rant.

"I'm not doing this, Daniel. Talk to her if you don't believe me. But you should ask yourself whether she's the one you're really worried about here."

With that he turned and walked out of the temple, leaving the archeologist wondering how things had gotten so screwed up.

oOoOoOo

It was several hours later when Daniel finally decided to take Jack up on his suggestion. He found Sam a short distance from their camp sitting on an outcropping of rock. Her attention was focused solely on her computer, which he assumed was relaying readings from the environmental gauges she'd set up earlier.

"Hey," he said as he approached her tentatively.

"Hey." She looked up at him with a smile.

Taking her apparent friendliness as a good sign, he took a seat beside her, swinging his legs around so his feet dangled over the edge of the rock. "So how are you?"

"I'm fine, Daniel," she replied, her tone slightly bemused.

"Really?"

"Really."

Daniel gave her a meaningful look and let out a long sigh. "Look, I'm really sorry..." He trailed off.

"Yeah, it wasn't exactly how we wanted you to find out." She paused and cocked her head at him. "But it is what I want and has been, for a long time."

"Okay, but...why?"

Now it was Sam's turn to sigh. "I never thought I'd be that woman, that officer, the one who falls for her CO. But I learned the hard way that it was the one thing I couldn't control." She shook her head. "Not that I didn't try. God, I tried - for three years in fact. In the beginning, I told myself that it was just a crush, and later, when I realized it was something more, I told myself that I'd just have to get over it."

"So what changed?"

"I found out he felt the same way. I figured the feelings were already there, and they weren't going away, so what difference could it make..." She shrugged.

"But...It's just..." He looked up at her. "We weren't enough for you?"

Sam shifted a bit, thinking carefully about her response. "If Sha're were still here, and you had to choose between her and SG-1, what would you do?" Before he could respond, she leaned toward him and placed her hand gently on his arm. "What if you could find a way to have both?"

"You love him," he said, his words more statement than question.

"Yeah, I do." She smiled again. "But just because I'm in love with Jack doesn't mean I love you or Teal'c any less."

He considered that for a moment, and suddenly it was as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Promise?" he asked, his own grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Promise," she replied without hesitation.

oOoOoOo

The sun was quickly setting behind the curtain of the forest when Daniel returned to the campsite to find Jack reclined against a fallen tree, quietly whittling a piece of wood. The archeologist knew better than to think the military man was unaware of his presence, so he continued to approach, taking care to stay out of the way of his knife.

"You don't deserve her, you know," he said simply, as he settled across from him, on the other side of the fire.

Jack flicked his hand, sending a sliver of wood flying. "Yeah, I know."

"Teal'c will cause you serious bodily harm if you ever hurt her. I'll make sure of it."

"Yeah, I know that too." Several more splinters of wood flew into the air before Jack stopped suddenly and looked up to meet Daniel's gaze. "So, are we good?"

Daniel grinned, his eyes still trained on the campfire. "Yeah, we're good."

oOoOoOo

Jack joined Sam on the couch, and she immediately snuggled into his side. In light of all that had happened, he'd declared that they were long overdue for a team night. Daniel had just left to take Teal'c back to the base.

"So you think he'll be okay?" she asked, inclining her head in the direction of the door.

After setting a bowl of popcorn on the table, he turned down the volume on the television and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I do." He kissed her head, then mumbled into her hair, "He's more than a little in love with you, you know." He pulled back a bit. "Teal'c is too, for that matter."

She smiled. "I'm pretty sure they love you, too."

"Well, this has just taken a turn for the weird," he replied with a chuckle.

She snorted, but quickly grew serious. "And what about you?" she asked, turning to face him.

"Me?" He caressed the side of her face. "I'm all the way in love with you, Sam."

He then brought his lips to hers, and within a matter of minutes the popcorn, the television, and any lingering concerns regarding their teammate's opinion of their relationship were completely forgotten.

TBC...

 


	4. Jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place after the events of Entity.

Jack watched the respirator as it moved up and down with a rhythmic whooshing noise.  He knew every time it made that sound, Sam took another breath, just like he knew the beeping of the monitor kept perfect time with her heart.  It all served to prove that she was alive, at least technically.  Still, he couldn't bring himself to look directly at her, because every time he did, all he saw was the tube in her mouth, her face pale and hands deathly still, and he felt a pang in his gut, the one that reminded him that he was responsible for this, all of it. 

Seeing her now, it was hard to believe that just that morning she had been so...alive.  Not twelve hours ago, he'd woken to the sight of her gloriously naked breasts swaying above him as she kissed his face and neck, and then slowly made her way down his body.  Completely entranced, he'd tried to stay as still as possible as he watched her tongue trail down his chest, finally circling the sensitive skin of his lower abdomen.  He knew the involuntary hitch in his breathing had given him away, a fact that was confirmed when he saw the slightly evil smile that graced her lips immediately before she shifted upward and repositioned herself over his now fully erect cock.  

He'd spent the next several minutes watching the changing expressions on her face -- desire, ecstasy, love -- as she took him in fully and began moving.  God, she was gorgeous, he'd thought and wondered not for the first time how he'd been lucky enough to have such an extraordinary woman by his side, much less in his bed.  But it wasn't long before he'd found it impossible to concentrate on anything other his own growing need and he decided that it was time for him to take control of the situation.  So, in one expertly choreographed move, he'd flipped them over and situated himself deep between her thighs, taking a ridiculous amount of pleasure from her startled gasp and satisfied moan.  It didn't take long after that before she was flying apart beneath him, and he was finally able to let go as well.

He'd still been thrusting softly against her, feeling her tremble with the last of her aftershocks, when he buried his face in the side of her neck and whispered, "I love you," to spot just below her ear.  It was only when she stilled completely at his words that he realized what he'd done.  He'd raised his head to look at her face and tried to apologize for the less than optimal timing of his declaration.  But she'd just beamed up at him and, before he could finish his sentence, she'd simply laughed and told him that she loved him, too.

And so he'd arrived at work mere hours ago downright giddy, feeling for the first time in years that his life was damn near perfect. 

He should have known better.

As he continued to sit on the stool by her bedside his eyes never left the respirator, not when Daniel came in, rattling off some nonsense about how they couldn't have known what would happen; and not even when Teal'c entered shortly after to take up a blessedly silent vigil beside him.  At some point he lost all track of time, too caught up in his own self-recrimination over the events of the last few hours. 

After it took her, the Entity had told him that Sam was special, that it had chosen her specifically because he wouldn't kill "this one."  He wondered how it could possibly have known that was true, how it was able to so accurately discern how he felt about her, solely from the briefest observation of their interactions.  But he knew in his heart of hearts that it did, just as he knew she wouldn't be clinging to the last remnants of her life if he didn't love her like he did.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Janet entered the room.  He waited for the diminutive doctor to check Sam's vitals, but apparently there was no need.  That had not been the purpose of her visit.  No, instead she had come to address the issue of Sam's living will.

The grim reminder drew him back to the moment he'd fired the shot that had all but ended her life.  Even then, he'd known he might as well have been pulling the trigger on a gun pressed to his own head.  But he'd fulfilled his duty.  He'd put aside his personal feelings and done what was expected of an officer of the United States Air Force, even though he understood what it would cost him.  And sure enough, he was now lost in the same blackness he'd encountered after Charlie's death. Until now, he hadn't believed anything could compare to the pain he'd felt upon losing his only child.  But he'd been wrong.   

Somewhere in the distance, he was fairly certain he thought he heard Janet asking him once again to do the impossible, to silence the machines that kept Sam's heart beating.  He wondered how she could possibly ask him to kill the woman he loved twice.  

But Janet wasn't the cause for his despair.  For that, he had no one to blame but himself. He was responsible.  Not because he'd fired the shot that brought her down -- if he hadn’t done it, Hammond would have -- and not because their affair violated military regulations. After all, they'd been breaking the regs long before they slept together.   And not even because the Entity picked her because it knew -- it knew! -- how he felt about her. 

No, the real reason he was responsible was because he wasn't the kind of man who deserved to be happy.  He wasn't the kind of man who deserved a person like her.  He'd done terrible, awful things during his time in Black Ops.  Yet he hadn’t just killed all those nameless, faceless people on his covert missions.  It was far worse than that.  He’d killed his own son.  And somewhere, deep down, he'd known he'd have to pay a price.  He just hadn't counted on Sam paying it for him.

Jack finally mustered the courage to look at her face one last time.  Damn, if she wasn't still beautiful despite the tubes and wires.  As he watched her, he realized that for one brief moment, he'd touched the sun. 

He should have known he'd flown too close.

oOoOoOo

Jack sat in his easy chair, staring at an undefined point in the center of his rapidly darkening living room, his thoughts focused solely on the incident with the Entity and the fact that Sam had somehow, miraculously, survived.  When she'd woken, she'd looked directly at him as though gazing into his very soul.  He'd known instantly she had returned to him, and his relief was overwhelming. He'd wanted to pull her to him and never let go; he'd even moved to take her hand before remembering not only where they were but how he had no right to claim her as his.

After, he’d been the worst kind of coward.  She'd been whisked to the infirmary, and despite Daniel's less than subtle prompting and Teal'c's questioning eyebrow, he'd declined to follow.  The minute he'd heard she was fine, he'd run.  He hadn't gone to see her, hadn't even stayed on base.  It was too much temptation.  So, he'd driven straight home with the intention of drinking himself into a stupor, only to find himself nursing the first and only beer he'd opened.

He was roused from his thoughts by a soft knock on the front door and figured it had to be Daniel, damn him.  Despite his friend's good intentions, Jack had no desire to turn this evening into an impromptu therapy session, so he just let him continue to knock.  It was only when he heard a key in the lock that he bothered yelling at him to go away.  

While he wasn't really surprised that the intruder continued the unauthorized entry, he was shocked to find it wasn't Daniel after all.  He stood suddenly as a decidedly feminine figure rounded the corner into his living room.

"Sam?"

She gave him a wan smile.  "Hey."

"Hey," he responded automatically.  Clearing his throat, he recovered himself a bit.  "I, uh, didn't think you'd be released so soon."

She shrugged.  "Janet says that physically I'm perfectly fine."  

"And other than physically?"  

She let a long sigh.  "I have an appointment with MacKenzie first thing Monday morning."  

"Ah."  There was an awkward silence, before Jack continued.  "That should be fun -- you can tell him all about how your commanding officer-slash-lover shot and killed you."  

She stared at him blankly, and he grimaced.  The words had come tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.  More uncomfortable silence followed.  It had almost become unbearable when they suddenly both spoke at once.  

"Jack--"  

"Sorry--"

"I don't blame you," Sam said quickly.

He looked at her for several beats.  "You should," he replied gravely.  He thought that would put an end to the conversation, but Sam apparently had other plans.

"I don't."  

She moved toward him but he immediately backed away, holding up both hands.  He hadn't planned on having this conversation so soon, but he couldn't let their relationship continue any longer.  It was too dangerous for her.  He was too dangerous for her.  The Entity had proven that.  

"We can't.  This was a mistake, my mistake."  

Her eyes hardened.  "I refuse to label all that's happened between us a mistake."  

Why couldn't she see?  "I almost killed you," he said, his voice low.  

"No," she said quietly, holding his gaze, "you saved me."  

That took him aback, but when he considered it for a minute, he could see her point.  She'd been held prisoner in her own body, watching captive, as she was forced to do things she hated that were completely beyond her control.  He suddenly realized that something about that sounded familiar. 

She smiled at him when she saw that he understood, but she wasn't done yet.  "It's more than just the Entity, Jack.  It's a million different things.  I don't think I could make it without you." 

He shook his head.  "No.  No, Daniel was right.  I don't deserve you."  

"Maybe," she responded somewhat to his surprise.  "But what if it's not about you deserving me, but the other way around?"  She grinned ever so slightly.  "Because I absolutely deserve to get what I want."

That thought left him dumbfounded.  Could that be true?  If so, then maybe in her own way, she could save him, too. 

He was still trying to process everything she said when she kissed him.  As he melted into her embrace he realized he had no power to resist her, that he never would.  He wondered for a moment when the power in their relationship had shifted.  But he didn't dwell, because for the first time in forever he felt something that he hardly recognized: hope.   

He held her closer and buried his face in the side of her neck, breathing in her scent and trying desperately not to let the tears that had gathered fall.  He'd been ready to give her up, but she had no intention of letting him do it. Maybe he didn’t deserve her, but for whatever strange reason she wanted him, and she was right – unlike him, she deserved to be happy.  Saving him might be just a by-product, but he’d take it. 

As she grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom, he knew that he would always harbor some fear that their relationship would fall to pieces at any given moment.  But this time she was the one making the offer; she was calling the shots; and maybe -- just maybe -- she was the one who could build the wings upon which they would soar.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to MidKnightRider and BethanyActually for the beta.


End file.
